Cigar Review - Pura Sangre Churchill

I remember not that long ago seeing an ad somewhere for a new company called Ventura Cigars announcing the release of their cigars. They were so proud of them that all you had to do was go online, give them your address, and they'd send you two cigars free; all they wanted in return was... well, I don't remember. Like them on Facebook, or send them a review... something. I love free stuff, so I immediately signed up and not long after got my no-shit two free cigars in the mail. I stuck 'em in my "humidor" and forgot about them for a while.I really wish I had left this one there.

a box of poison

This evening I decided to go with the Pura Sangre, since it was a Churchill coming in at a nice 7x52. I'm not thrilled with the 6x60 nonsense I've been seeing tons of (or the 64-gauge Inch by EP Carillo although in fairness I haven't tried that one yet), so longer, thinner cigars have been what I look for. Yes, yes, Dr. Freud blah blah.

Even before I took it out of the cello, I noticed a rather obvious roll line curving its way up the stick, plus some fat veins in the wrapper. I was fully expecting the cigar to comically unravel at some point. Another knock against the appearance is the band. I have no idea what the heck is going on there but it's ugly and bland; it doesn't catch my eye. It's not a huge knock, but it's a knock all the same.

Once out of the cello, the foot and wrapper gave off an earthy aroma. It wasn't immediately appealing, but some of the better cigars I've had have smelled like straight-up shit so I wasn't concerned. It actually got me expecting good things. I gave it a straight cut and found it was actually a bit tough to cut through. I don't have a fancy cutter, just a $10 job I got a while ago, but it's handled other cigars with no problem. The foot looked pretty nice: densely packed, clean and tight. The prelight draw was tight-ish and gave more of the earthy, leathery taste.

Maybe that dense foot was the reason it was such a bitch to get lit. Maybe it was my cigardian angel (har!) trying to keep me from smoking it. Whatever it was, my Bic (I don't have a three-flame torch lighter or cedar strips or whatever else) got surface-of-the-sun hot before the cigar was entirely lit.

Once lit, the draw loosened up considerably. The first few puffs yielded none of the tobacco, earth, spice, leather, cedar, or anything else promised from the wrapper. In fact, the only flavor I got was a dusty/musty one with a hint of onion/garlic sometimes. It was like rimming out a mummy's butthole. There wasn't a dry finish like I'd expect. In fact, there was almost zero finish. None. Which was kind of nice, actually, since the flavor wasn't one you wanted to have stick around.

So why did I continue to smoke it? Well, I had it in my head to do a review and I figured to be fair I ought to do the whole thing (or at least more than the first inch) to see if it changed. Thankfully, it eventually did.

The musty/dusty flavor continued on through maybe the first half before it mercifully vanished. It was replaced with a generic cigar flavor with a bit of gamey meat flavor to it. This would be the sweet spot, I suppose, but yeesh. Boring. You could package the middle third with a white band that just said "CIGAR" on it.

The final third hit generic spicy notes with a hot pepper mouthfeel.

Overall, the cigar was loose as hell. It took me about an hour to smoke, and it was a Churchill! The burn was all over the place, and it felt like the cigar needed constant maintenance to stay lit; either touch-ups from my lighter or puffing on it like a cartoon villain to keep the cherry hot.

Final verdict: The Pura Sangre is not fit for human consumption. While smoking it, I figured the price per stick would be about $4 which worked itself down to my imagining it to be part of those bundles where you get 20 cigars for $22. Imagine how quickly my jaw hit the floor when I saw that Tampa Humidor sells a single Churchill for $9.10, and $150.95 for a box of 20. Trololo. I could give you a numerical rating but what's the point? It's easily the worst cigar I've ever smoked.

A final fun note: the Ventura Cigar website seems to be down except for that one page, which makes me think this whole thing was either a Mafia money-laundering scheme or somebody lost a bet.

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Boring disclaimer-y stuff
I'm not an expert and I don't claim to be. I'm a jerkoff with a Dell and an Internet connection. This cigar was provided free, but if you think that influenced my review at all, you're an idiot. I don't solicit freebies. That said, if you're a cigar maker and you want to send me free stuff, I won't say no. I guarantee a fair review. Anybody who wants to contact me can do so at NTredray /at\ g mail dot com. Me mentioning Tampa Humidor is not an endorsement or indictment.