Season: 73-45
Happy Halloween!
And there you have an October, folks. Also, we're sort of halfway through the season as some teams have already played 8 games. Sad face.
Thursday
Sunday
Baltimore (5-2) at Cleveland (2-6) - Fact: Joe Flacco has never lost to the Browns. Fact: He ain't gonna lose this game, either. Both teams' defenses are stout as hell right now, though, so it's possible this one ends in a 3-3 tie.
Arizona (4-4) at Green Bay (5-3) - I'd check the injury reports on Jordy Nelson and Greg Jennings for fantasy, but I'm picking the Pack to win this regardless. They're on a three-game winning streak where Aaron Rodgers is completing 70% of his passes with 11 TDs and zero INTs. Look for... My immediate thought was an Arizona team in Wisconsin in November would have adjustment issues, but unless the weather swings dramatically, it won't be "frozen tundra" cold at Lambeau just yet.
Chicago (6-1) at Tennessee (3-5) - Chris Johnson is finally getting his shit together just in time to take on the league's best run defense (77.9 ypg). The Bears' passing offense is a joke, but the Titans' pass defense (and their run D, too) is crap. Da Bears ought to leave Tennessee with their sixth straight win.
Miami (4-3) at Indianapolis (4-3) - Both teams had great Octobers: the Dolphins were 3-0 and the Colts 3-1. Miami's another team with a defense that's keeping them afloat; opponents are converting just 26.4% of third downs. Look for... Ryan Tannehill might be out for this one.
Carolina (1-6) at Washington (3-5) - Well, here it is: the last Redskins home game before Election Day. The good news for Barack Obama is that the Redskins are by far the better of these two teams. The good news for Mitt Romney is that George W. Bush broke this streak, as well as Tecumseh's Curse. Look for... Cam Newton will assassinate Mike Shanahan.
Detroit (3-4) at Jacksonville (1-6) - An awesome cat fight in name only, this is more like two old mummy cats wheezing at each other. Sad, really.
Buffalo (3-4) at Houston (6-1) - How awful must it be for Bills fans? You live in Buffalo, first off. You have no MLB or NBA franchise nearby that doesn't require a passport to go see. Hockey is over forever, and your NFL franchise is the Bills. Anywho, the Texans are this week's Stone Cold Tighten Up Lock it Down Lock it Up Can't Miss You Better Believe It LOCK OF THE WEEK pick. The Bills are allowing an NFL-worst 32.4 points per game, while the Texans are scoring a second-best 30.9 ppg. Oh, and Arian Foster is facing the worst run D. Look for... Foster may not be able to run well because of the huge boner he'll have thinking about all his touchdowns.
Tampa Bay (3-4) at Oakland (3-4) - PIRAAAAATE FIIIIIIIIIGHT!! The Bucs get their second straight all-looter matchup. Oakland's run defense is relatively stout (11th best) but so was Minnesota's going into Week 8 and look how that turned out (214 total Doug Martin yards).
Minnesota (5-3) at Seattle (4-4) - Yikes, Seahawks! You're 3-0 at home (Dallas, Green Bay*, New England) but 1-4 on the road! Good thing you're at home here, I guess. And against a team which has allowed 88 points and 8 turnovers in its past three games.
Pittsburgh (4-3) at NY Giants (6-2) - The Steelers have no healthy running backs. The Giants haven't really needed to run, what with the league's sixth-best passing offense and all. The Steelers don't need to run either, given that they have the seventh-best passing O. Still, the Giants' defense ought to rack up some sacks against a QB who likes to hold the ball forever.
(SNF) Dallas (3-4) at Atlanta (7-0) - The Falcons have edged some teams in close games lately (2, 7, 3 points before the Philly game), as have the Cowboys (2, 5, and 5 points). Sad news for Cowboys fans: this one won't be close. Look for... A frustrated Tony Romo will throw something like four picks here.
Monday
Bye weeks: New England, NY Jets, San Francisco, St. Louis
Kansas City (1-6) at San Diego (3-4) - Fact: neither of these teams won a game last month. Fact: the NFL is less fun without Todd Haley as a head coach.
Denver (4-3) at Cincinnati (3-4) - Peyton "Construction Reroute!" Manning is red-hot of late, with 1,619 yards, 14 TDs, and 1 INT in his last five games. Andy Dalton, on the other hand, has 5 TDs and 6 INTs in his last three games. Look for... Peyton and pizza asshole John Schnatter to see who can say "meeyin free pizzas" more per 30-second TV spot.
Philadelphia (3-4) at New Orleans (2-5) - Ah, this is more like it. Two sub-.500 teams playing on Monday night while ESPN pretends this is THE must-watch game of the week. lol. Anywho, Drew Brees is Drew Brees (20 TDs, 330 ypg) and Michael Vick (9 TDs, 8 INTs) might not even get a chance to be Michael Vick (Nick Foles). I'd rather have diarrhea than watch this game.
No comments:
Post a Comment